Sleeping through the night

I apologize in advance for the amount of exclamation!

It finally happened! I slept through the night! For probably the first time in over 2 years I slept continuously from 1am to 7:30! There's been a lot of talk about sleep around here. Not just in our house but also in our neighborhood. A neighbor and her husband separately on the same day were both telling me about the "problems" they've been having with their not quite 1 year old sleeping through the night. Dan has also been a little upset when he comes home in the middle of the night from work and there's no room in the bed. And a friend was telling me about people bothering her about where her beautiful daughter is sleeping.

It always upsets me and gets me going when people ask the age old question, "Is she sleeping through the night yet?" I always just say "Nope," trying not to get to excited about it. It is usually followed by, "why do you think she still wakes up?" Deep breath, stay calm... "I don't know." And that is usually the end of it. I really try not to get into it with people, especially people who don't have kids so it doesn't really matter. But seriously, who as a mother, or even a father, with a baby is not asked this at every family event at least by one person? I think it is so crazy that people are so worried about where, when, and how much your child is sleeping but don't worry about what they are eating (well, unless you count the people that ask you if you are still breastfeeding...way to go if your are BTW!), learning, or anything else that's really important.

Your child not sleeping through the night is a problem when you decide to make it a problem. Like most things, it's not a problem if it doesn't bother you. In the case of the neighbors, they both work outside the home. To me they both said the almost exact same thing, "We are tired and at our wits end!" When I talked to mom she was on her way to find a video monitor so she could watch and see if she really needed to go in there, and I saw dad at the grocery store saying he was so tired he couldn't even function. They're trying to get her to sleep in her bed but even before they go to bed she wakes up and is up again shortly after they put her back. Now this time, still trying not to get too opinionated and worked up, actually asked dad, "Where does she sleep, with you?" "No, I have been so against that, but I'm tempted" Seriously trying to hold it back here... Of course it is disruptive and of course you are tired! You are completely waking up every time she gets up, walking down the hallway, rocking her back to sleep for 15 minutes, walking back down the hallway, and then trying to get back to sleep! And it is taking longer for her to get back to sleep because had to completely wake up to get you in there! And because she is waking up so completely her little body is probably getting used to getting up at certain times. Mackenzie and I always wake up around 3 or 3:30. I believe it's because Dan was on that shift for so long and he always came home and woke us up. Instead of telling him that I just told him about attaching our crib to our bed. Wuss!

Anyway, blah blah blah! The point is, people make their own problems. Mackenzie not sleeping through the night wasn't a super huge deal because she was in bed with us. If she woke up I nursed her back to sleep, and now that she has weaned if she wakes up she just wants to snuggle. We have also pretty much fixed the space problem because I attached her crib to our bed with the side off so she is still in our bed but has her own space. She's finally using that crib! Dan is the one who keeps me awake now with his snorting and wiggling and coming home who knows when. I have slept on the couch the last two nights because of him! Plus he likes it when I'm not there because then she snuggles with him instead of me.

Why do babies wake up so much at night? Because they have needs! They are hungry, scared, cold, hot, uncomfortable, lonely, in pain from teething, etc! Your baby needs you! Do you sleep through the night? I didn't even before I had her. I always wake up for stuff like I have to use the toilet, I'm thirsty, I'm hungry, or I just can't get an idea out of my head. They are tiny and helpless and even Mackenzie who is almost 2 and a big girl to us is still completely helpless. They can't survive without you. If people get me really worked up about co sleeping and other bedtime things I tell them, "When I decided to be a parent I didn't do it under the pretense that it would be a 12 hour a day job. A parent needs to parent 24 hours a day." Babies are not hobbies or toys that we can play with when we want or when it's convenient.

A friend of mine always has great quotes and things on her blog. One was "Stand up for your baby's rights, he is depending on you to look out for him." Whatever you do, do whatever is best for you and your child and don't worry about what other people say. Use common sense and intuition and back it up with a little Dr. Sears if you have to. And when people ask you why your baby isn't sleeping through the night answer them with "I'm sure they will when they outgrow the need to wake up," or "When she's ready she will."